Being responsible for others is suicide.

I know, the title sounds a bit dramatic, but if you think about it emotionally, putting someones else's life before your own literally kills your own perspective, thus killing YOU. Death isn't always just a physical event. However spiritually, we always get a chance to resurrect!

Now, other than being responsible for your children or caretaking elders, I talk about why it is a negative decision to take responsibility for others and how to let others take responsibility for themselves. Having to take responsibility for others can be a form of self denial, thus dismissing the self.

Altruism:

al·tru·ism /ˈaltro͞oˌizəm/

noun

1. the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.

How many of you actually suffer from altruism? Yes, that’s right, suffer. Many of us many not devote 100% of our lives to others, however, but even 60 percent is still way too much do devote to another’s life over our own. Why is this so? Well, If it isn't already obvious, then yes, you suffer from altruism. If you spend most of your time attending to someone else’s garden, then who is going to fully attend to your garden to make sure you have enough resources to share with others? We must not forget that everything in life must have balance even when it comes to helping others. Imagine how unproductive a driving lesson would be if the teacher constantly grabbed the steering wheel to have the student drive correctly. We must let others be responsible for their own learning and growth. We are designed to inspire through our own lives and actions to be a demonstration of strength for others.

No one is completely selfless in helping people.

If you think for a moment, all the good moments you’ve had doing something nice for someone else, it usually feels really good. Now think for a moment when you've done something nice for someone and they’ve either taken advantage or just made you feel god awful. There’s a yin/yang to everything and life and the negative reactions we manifest show to us the imbalances that we have with self. For example, if you keep helping people and you keep attracting situations to where they take advantage and lack appreciation - that is a indication that you are taking advantage of your own power and lack self appreciation. You are seeking to find it through the helping of another. No matter what the situation; if sadness, anger, or frustration is a result of your actions, than that is life clearly showing to you the issues you are internally holding on to that prevents you and your life from expanding.

Most people become altruistic to avoid self reflection.

Many people focus heavily on others and other’s perspectives simply because they are avoiding the work that needs to be done on the self. Each and every one of us has our own free will and choice to do whatever we wish. If we make mistakes, we will have results that reflect our mistakes, thus, providing to us more answers to which we need in order to make change which then brings happiness. Many people fear this. Many people simply fear “failure”or the inability to make a the “right” decision. Unknowingly it prevents the truth from being revealed for growth. This is the most common reason people avoid self reflection and hyper-focus on others. It’s extremely important for us to focus on growth and to understand that if we take a wrong step in life, then will be alerted though our emotions or circumstance. It’s through the alert we get to take another approach and go another direction. To see things differently though a new perspective.

Imagine you leaned your hand on the stove accidentally and your body didn't alert you that the stove was hot. Your hand would burn to dust and you'd lose your hand. I know, its pretty dramatic, but it’s true. Another analogy I like to use is driving on the freeway. There are bumps on the sides of the road that make a noise when your car runs on them to alert you that you’ve driven off the road. Imagine falling asleep - those bumps may scare you awake, but wouldn’t you be glad it did? The same is true in life when we make decisions for ourselves that aren’t based on our truth, contradict our truth, or simply just don’t serve us. Be open to the alerts, this way you wont be in avoidance of your self, thus, focusing on everyone else’s bullshit. It’s their job and responsibility to process and understand their own alerts as well. You will never convince them on your own.

Many people help just to remain “in control.”

Another main reason people have to help others (in an unbalanced way) is control. Many people also need to control their surroundings in order to feel at safe, secure, or at peace. Although illusionary, they need others to believe and feel the way they do to feel pace.This is also another trap people create for themselves. Simply because there will always be someone that doesn't agree or see things the way you do. Period. And vise versa. It will push you to the point of actually hating people and then ultimately self isolating. They key when being pushed to self isolation is to actually work on yourself instead of continuing the hate of people.

Working on self in this case would be to accept everyone is going to think an feel the way they want to, and whether you agree or not, you must chose to accept it for what it is. Plus, a good question to also ask yourself in a situation like this is: how certain are you of your own beliefs that you are willing to endocrine others with them? If you really believed in something true for your would it really require force on another and would it really create division amongst others? That is looking at someone as “less than” whether you realize it or not. Seeing someone less then you is a form of arrogance. Helping someone to be (what you think to be better) is a state of diminishment even if you have good intentions. Remember sometimes the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Very rarely do people inspire form the place that they see the other as already being whole.

Christ himself couldn’t save the world in the flesh, however, you can?

Think about that for a second. In the biblical text, Christ was the son of God. Neither he could save the world through his message of love and freedom. They even mocked and killed him because of it. Now, the message isn't: “stand up for love and be killed,” no. The message is, no matter how good the intention, there will always people those that counter your approach and you cannot change the minds of those whom are set in their own perspective as you. We as humans choose what we wish to to be inspired by or not. The old phrase, you cant help someone if they're not willing to help themselves is 100% fact. It’s simple. We all have free will. You cannot change or alter another’s free will. It will continue to drive you mad. Release the need to save, and embrace the desire to build your life up so that you can be a beacon of light for all to see. Then those who chose to be inspired, will be helped by what you have chosen for your own life.

Taking the responsibility for others, endorses their weakness and diminishes their strength.

Now remember, guidance and assistance is one thing and taking responsibly for someone is another. I’m going to provide for you the positive way of helping someone through guidance and assistance and a negative one:

Positive helping of another through guidance and assistance:

A loved one has been in a car accident, temporarily losing their ability to see or walk for a few weeks. They will need care during the heeling phase. Because this person is someone you respect and love, you help mobilize them in their wheel chair and you also assist in making sure that when you are not able to be present, they have all the things they need at their finger tips to be able to do as they need to adjust - preserving their self competence in relation to the conditions. You see, we are guiding them during the circumstance yet also making things available for them to be able to still do what they need on their own though our guidance, assistance and care. Remember, there is a reason for everything we manifest in our lives, and it’s important that we also allow one to reflect on the meaning behind what has manifested for them. This will be rewarding for all parties involved. Having circumstances to which we can show love is something that is very rewarding to us provided its done from a true and genuine sincere place.

Negative way of helping someone:

A woman starts dating a new man. He has issues of abuse from his childhood and needs constant validation and stimulation. Because of this, he is constantly unfaithful, dishonest, and shows not emotional support for the woman. The woman feels empathetic for the man, so she spends all her energy in that relationship consoling him, trying to be “extra sexy,” and always making sure he has what he needs to feel validated. In return she feels tired, unhappy, unattractive, and used. She keeps trying harder in hopes the he will change....This is helping nobody. It’s just confirming to him that others are responsible for his happiness, and because no one can truly make him happy, he becomes obsessed with that cycle constantly needing more and more. Many women and men feel responsible for others in this way. The question they should be asking themselves is: Why am I trying to clean up a mess that I didn't create and why am I agreeing to take responsibility for someone else’s mistakes when I get nothing in return?

At the end of the day, ALL parties involved in each circumstance should be satisfied. That INCLUDES you! If it is making you unhappy, then that is the universe’s indication to you that the situation is subtracting from your life and not adding to it. It is our job in our lives to be determined - making sure we are expanding our own unique point of view. It’s through our own perspective that we add to the realm of infinite. That is the job we promised to full fill prior to incarnating in this physical life. We must allow others to find their own way. If along the way, the universe aligns us with others to connect and assist, then it would be done organically and painlessly and both sides would walk away expanded. It’s up to us to also expand from the negative. Taking responsibly in your life teaches another to take responsibly for their own life.

Once you focus on yourself and fulfill your life’s individual perspective, you will realize that helping people is simply just a side effect of life.

Love, Scott